Domestic Violence and Our National Policy
by Zoltan Abraham
November 26, 2004
I have been saying for some time now that the Bush administration
is exhibiting all of the characteristics of a wife-batterer.
National policy, both domestic and foreign, is being formulated
with the mindset of a domestic abuser. Lets look at some of
these traits:
Persistent lying: An abuser can lie with such conviction that you
begin to doubt the evidence of your own eyes. Black is white. Up
is down. Truth is falsehood. Weve seen a lot of that in the
last four years. Iraq had weapons of mass destruction. Saddam had
ties to al-Qaeda. Our nation is in a time of unprecedented job
growth.
Denying responsibility and shifting blame: An abuser will never
take responsibility for his destructive actions. Its always
someone elses fault. Clinton. The Democrats. The terrorist
killers. We never hear any discussions of how the administrations
own actions might have contributed to the problems of the world.
Bush has persistently refused to accept blame for any of his
actions.
Spin, spin: Spinning is closely related to lying and denying
responsibility. When the abuser is spinning, he might acknowledge
a part of the accusation, but he will twist and twist it around
until the worst things become praiseworthy. Were only
cutting down forests to save them from forest fires. Were
only cutting funding for education to improve the school system.
Weve killed 100,000 Iraqis only because we want them to be
free.
Tearing down the messenger: If someone accuses the abuser of
wrong-doing, he wont respond to the facts. He will simply
smear the messenger until no one takes that person seriously,
regardless of the truth. Think of Dick Clark. John Kerry. Michael
Moore.
For your own good: The abusive husband is only beating his wife
for her own good. Were only blowing Iraq to smithereens to
help them. Were only wiping Fallujah off the face of the
earth so that the inhabitants can vote.
Entitlement: An abuser has a sense of entitlement to whatever he
wants. Others must accommodate him or face the consequence. A
bumper sticker comes to mind: Whats our oil doing under
their soil?
Psychological abuse: Long before an abuser resorts to physical
violence, he engages in a systematic campaign of psychological
abuse, persistently tearing down anything and everything good
about the victim. Democrats experienced a bit of this during the
presidential campaign. Just a bit.
Physical violence: Sooner or later most abusers resort to
physical violence to enforce their status and to get their way.
The message is clear. Do as I say and give me what I want or you
will get hurt. Big time. The indiscriminate bombing of civilian
targets in Iraq is not an accident. Its a message to the
people of the world. If you oppose the Bush administration, there
is a very high price to pay. Nor do I think that the Bushies
regret the release of the prison abuse photos. Who would not be
afraid of them after seeing those images? Do you want to be the
guy standing there naked with a dog about to rip your intestines
out? Well, then, do as your masters say.
Sexual violence: Sexual abuse is not primarily intended for the
physical gratification of the abuser. The goal of sexual violence
is to humiliate the victim, to demolish his or her sense of self
and dignity. Sexual abuse is about achieving greater control by
shattering the other. Two words come to mind: Abu Ghraib.
Denial of privacy: The abuser works hard to know everything about
the victims life. Her phone calls are monitored. Her mail
is read. She must recount all of her conversations to her abuser.
She must have no secret thoughts. Woe to her if she does anything
without his knowledge and approval. Can someone say Patriot Act?
The books you read are not just your own business anymore.
Control: In addition to wanting to know all that is happening,
the abuser also feels a need to be in control of every situation.
All of Bushs events are carefully staged. During his
campaign, no one but the most ardent of supporters were admitted
to his rallies. Government officials and other public figures who
have spoken out against him have been subjected to ruthless
character assassination by the GOP machinery. When Joseph Wilson
contradicted the Presidents statement about Saddams
quest to acquire uranium from Niger, his wife was suddenly
exposed as an undercover CIA agent, thereby derailing her career
and endangering her life. When Dan Rather challenged Bushs
National Guard record, the GOP henchmen waged a relentless war on
him, until he was forced to resign.
Brainwashing: The abuser does not allow the victim to come to her
own conclusions, to make up her own mind about things. The victim
must accept the abusers version of reality without
protestation. Through the GOP-controlled media, Bush has been
able to define reality for the United States. Listen to how the
Republican faithful speak. They do not have thoughts of their
own. They speak the phrases and key words of the party line. They
regurgitate the talking points passed down from on high. They
have no minds of their own. The Democrats too are susceptible to
such manipulation. Many in the party accept uncritically the
Republican interpretation of the way things are. Howard Dean wont
be a good candidate, because the Republicans say that they would
love to run against him. The only way to show our patriotism is
to sound more and more warlike. The Democrats need to become more
like the Republicans, if they ever want to win again. And so it
goes.
Secrecy: An abuser tends to act with a great deal of secrecy. Few
things scare him more than public exposure, which could cause
people to stand together to oppose him. One of the defining
characteristics of the Bush administration has been secrecy. Bush
and Co. have systematically thwarted all attempts at public
oversight of their actions.
Posturing: The abuser knows want the world wants to see. He knows
the words that other people want to hear. He is the master of
seeming. He is always able to present a kindly, admirable front
to people when he needs to. The ruse can work for years. How
could this man be beating his wife? Cant you see what a
proper, nice gentleman he is? He couldnt hurt a fly. Bush
is good at talking the talking. Grand words about freedom,
education, economic prosperity. Photo-ops with minority children,
factory workers, the victims of 9/11. He says what people want to
hear, then he does the opposite. But people trust him, because he
seems like such a man of integrity. How could he be lying?
Isolating the victim: One of the first warning signs of an
abusive relationships is isolation. The abuser wants his victim
to be cut off from the outside world, so that she has no support
system on which to rely for help. Friends are systematically
driven off. The victims family members are craftily
alienated. Pretty soon the battered woman finds herself
completely alone, with her abuser as her only company. Where can
she go? What can she do? He is her only world now. Is it any
wonder then that Bush has done so much to turn the rest of the
world against United States? Do you think thats just
incompetence? No. He needs Americans to feel isolated and
rejected in the world, so that theyll rally around the only
person who seems to care about them. Not surprisingly, the
American media have played into this. For example, CNN would
never criticize the Bush administration in their American
coverage. But they do not shy away from portraying the US in a
negative light in their foreign feed.
The fear of separation: The abuser needs the victim to be afraid
not only of him, but also of life without him. Nobody loves you,
but me. Nobody cares about you, except for me. What would your
life be like without me? Where would you go? Who would take care
of you? Who would feed you? You cant strike out on your
own. You just wouldnt make it. The Bushies were not very
subtle about this fear factor in their second presidential
campaign. Their underlying message was: Vote for me, or you will
die.
So. The similarities between the behavior of the Bush
administration and that of a domestic abuser are striking. No
wonder then that Bush has cut millions from domestic violence
prevention funding. And how are the Democrats responding to all
of this? As Matthew Gross has pointed out in "The Politics
of Victimization" (November 7, 2004), the Democrats are
meekly playing their intended role, exhibiting all of the
characteristics of the battered wife.
Its time that America gets some serious counseling.
Zoltan
Abraham's article was originally published on GrassrootsHope.